For the past few days, I was
thinking why is life so strange, why is it so pathetic and thus, came a strange
realization. I realized that yes life is strange, it always turns pathetic
the least when you want it not to be. It was just last year when I joined
IBA. Strangely, it was an awesome time I had. All but fun and enjoyment. New
friend and a nice environment and on top of that a good number of seniors who
were like a family for us. I really got used to being with my friends, but more
that that seniors. But now, as they are leaving us the element of fun seems to
have been curtailed. The hostel has turned silent. I'm not going to hear their
voices in our hostel again. The liveliness, the fun and the good times we had
with them just vanishes. This silence is really hurting. I feel sad and lonely
again, though I'm having my friends here. They always keep telling me that this
is life, it always has been and get used to it, but still my heart fails to
accept the fact this is how life is meant to be. I keep smiling in front of
others but from the inside, I'm crying.
My mind again reels back to my graduation days
when I, I mean we friends seriously had fun and frolic and a non-ending life of
fun which sadly came to an end on our farewell night. Now also, when I meet
those friends on facebook, I start talking about those good old happy and
memorable days we had and at the back of my mind I'm compelled to think that
the complexities of life have increased. I feel that life is becoming more
challenging day by day. I am trying to move on and not keep crying as to
why this all had to happen. I'm sad,but strangely happy after learning the fact
that a year has passed by and I've grown up and become more emotionally
intelligent and strong at heart and am trying to cope up with life and am
hoping to overcome all my sadness and to try and live my life and get used to
this pathetic life. I still ask the same question to myself everyday as to why
life is so pathetic but find no specific answers and sadly tend to move on with
my life......
Well, I've always kept thinking and my deep thoughts have led me to conclude one thing that I'm always full of deception just because of the simple fact that I think I'm 100 per cent perfect when I still am not one myself. I'm not so sure about my perfection but maybe my peers or my seniors still have the authority to decide on the level of perfection I possess. Say, for instance, I am considering my parents and teachers as well as my friends who are the best judges when it comes to deciding my level of perfection. They study my behavior, gestures and other aspects of my character that determine the level of perfection I possess. Their suggestions and continuous criticisms have made me what I am today. I feel that their sense of judgement can play a very important role in helping me decide the level of perfection I possess because I think if it was not for their judgements, I would have still had tend to think that I am totally perfect when I'm still not. Now comin...
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